So, yesterday in class an activity got me thinking. Thinking about unanswered questions I have. One of the questions that I asked yesterday in my Google Search Story was; “What should I do for a job?” I know the answer to this question from other’s points of view is; teacher! Duh! That is what you are, that is that you have wanted to be since you were in fourth grade, that is what you are good at! Well, to me the answer is not so simple anymore. It is true that I wanted to be a teacher since fourth grade, that it is my passion…or so I thought. With year three under my belt and many cases of ‘what is right for the child’ experienced I have been thinking about this off and on for a while. Am I really supposed to be a teacher? The answer is not so clear. The answer is emotional, the thoughts are emotional, the whole ‘issue’ is emotional! WHAT DO I DO? Someone please just tell me, make the decision for me, make whatever is supposed to happen happen already!
Now, with that question out in the open another question comes to mind; what am I supposed to be? This thought has come to my mind many times over the last year or so and all I can come up with is; someone who works with special needs individuals that fights for what is RIGHT for them! Someone that can do more than a teacher can, someone that won’t get told to stop thinking with their heart and to start thinking with their brain! I want to be that person that helps individuals make choices for themselves, who gives them ‘tough’ love, who shows themselves and others that they do really have worth.
I think these questions have come to light because in today’s schools a teacher can only do so much. A teacher can take a child abuse issue to the next level and that is about it. A teacher can make sure a student takes classes and courses that will teach them what they need to know to succeed in the world but a teacher can’t show them how to live their lives outside of school. They kind of have their hands tied. I have been told many times by administrators: “This isn’t our place. We can only control what happens to the student when they are inside our building.” And to this I just want to reply: “Then this isn’t the place for me. We see that something is wrong and we can’t do anything about it? How right is that?”